Maintaining Remote Friendships

In this age of remote working and social media, face-to-face contact is becoming increasingly rare.

It’s no secret that face-to-face communication is the cornerstone of a strong friendship, which is why we’ve put together this guide to help men keep their friendships strong, even when their mates are far away. 

This is a very important point. We always recommend that YOU make the effort to maintain friendships rather than rely solely on your friends.

People have busy lives and sometimes they occasionally forget to message you due to work or family commitments. Don’t wait around for people to make the first approach – you need to do it yourself. Likewise, don’t be discouraged if your mate fails to respond after your first or second attempt.

If you believe the friendship is worth keeping you should continue to reach out, whether that be by phone, email, text, carrier pigeon or smoke signal!

Look, we get it, it’s hard to go to the pub with a mate if he lives at the other end of the city, let alone on another continent. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t hang out face-to-face.

Thanks to the miracle of programs like Zoom and Skype, you can have a face-to-face chat with anyone, anywhere in the world, assuming you both have an internet connection.

Obviously, this will require a bit of coordination, so use email and/or messaging services like WhatsApp to tee up a time and then show up at the appropriate time. To simulate that pub feeling, why don’t you both show up with a tinnie of a healthy beer, or even better, a Man Shake! 

It’s worth noting that these video chats don’t necessarily need to be one-on-one. If there is a group of you separated by the tyranny of distance, there’s nothing stopping you from having a group hang out online. In fact, there are a lot of programs that let you play multiplayer games online, which involve a stack of interaction – even if you aren’t in the same room. A good example of this is the Jackbox Party Pack series.

If you want a mate to know how much you value them, just send them a message once in a while. Ask how they are and tell them that you miss hanging out. This may sound a little ‘mushy’, but it’s an effective technique to help people realise how much you mean to them. Likewise, you can modify your language in a way that both you and your mate(s) feel comfortable. 

Occasionally, there are going to be times when a Zoom chat simply won’t suffice. In those instances, you and your mate(s) need to put the effort in and meet up. Choose a place that is easily accessible to all parties and provides an opportunity for you to chat and/or participate in a group activity. If you want to talk in a quiet place, maybe hit up a café and grab a cup of coffee. If you prefer something a little more rambunctious, why not hit up a pub, watch the footy or play a game of pool?

Now that you know ways that you can continue to maintain your remote relationships with mates, we thought we’d also share some tips to ensure that you communicate effectively. 

If you haven’t spoken to your mate for a while, you’ll no doubt be bursting to tell them all the latest news from your life – and that’s ok. However, remember that communication is a two-way street, so make sure you listen carefully to everything they have to say. Likewise try not to interrupt them while they’re talking. Listening without interruptions will indicate to them that you value what they have to say and, by extension, that you value them.

Further to our point on listening, make sure you ask questions. If you ask pointed and relevant questions, it will indicate to your mate that you are absorbing everything they are saying. Likewise, it will tell them that you are invested in what they have to say and will provide them with further opportunities to share their thoughts and feelings. At the most basic level, questions also help conversations flow. 

Your friends deserve your full attention. With that in mind, make sure you put your phone away and turn off your television. Nothing is more disheartening than feeling like someone isn’t listening to you!